two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
