So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
