he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
