Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize
