What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
