people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
