In the future we'll all be gay
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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