yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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