apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
