the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
