I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
