i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
