Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
