My room smells like vodka and shame
thus making me awesome and them whores
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
