I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
