I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize