Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
