My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
