you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize