I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
