The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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