We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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