You can't motorboat a personality
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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