oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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