Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
