He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
PANTIES FOUND
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