can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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