when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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