I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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