Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
