Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
