Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
