i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
