if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
