My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
