These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
