Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
