we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I AM VODKA MAN
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
