I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
