My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
