i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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