no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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