i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
