Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
