farters have to be the big spoon...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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