you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
