you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
