I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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