just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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