I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
