so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
