I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
