some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize