one two three fourrrrnication!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize