he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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