i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You ruined the universe
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