LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
