Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
