i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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