what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
