For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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