They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
