I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
