I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
