So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
